WHY IS MY HEART NOT CLEAN?
by Rev. Ernest O'Neill
Now how do you get your heart cleansed? It’s the same way you got your sins forgiven -- by faith. That's it. That's the way it happened in the New Testament.
Now if you say, "Well, why did it not happen that way with me when I became a Christian? That didn't happen with me. I am in a situation that you're talking about. I do the very thing I hate and I can't do the things that I want. I don't understand my own actions anymore. Why did that not happen with me?"
The reason you did not enter into a clean heart by faith and the reason you haven't entered into a clean heart by faith since, is because you don't want a clean heart.
You may say, "Don't want a clean heart? That's what I want! That's what I want! I want to be rid of this stream of filth that comes from inside me. I want to be able to look a friend in the eyes and think all the way through loving thoughts about them, not have those kind of critical thoughts inside me that I don't let them see. I want to be able to look my wife or my husband or my children in the eyes and for them to see outwardly all that is inside me. I want to be real. I want to be rid of this. I want to be rid of this unclean heart, all this sarcasm that spews up from inside me, this envy and jealousy that makes me feel a creep, I want to be rid of it. I want the stream of Jesus' pure and gentle sentiments coming up from inside my heart. That's what I want more than anything in the world."
Well loved ones, you want it, that's true. You want it in the sense that you desire it. For all kinds of motives you desire it but you're not willing to face the consequences and implications of having a clean heart. That's true. That's what it was with me and that's what it is with all of us who haven't a clean heart. God is more anxious to give it to us than we are to receive it, but we cannot receive it because we're not willing to face the implications and consequences of having a clean heart like Jesus.
Look at it like this: last Sunday I said to you, we at times notice somebody of whom we say, "He has a very generous heart". You see that he hasn't the attitude of possessiveness that you have about your possessions and your property. He just seems to be free and gives it away whenever anybody needs it. You see he is different and you maybe say to him sometime, "Boy, you have a generous heart". That person will say, "No, no I haven't", and you know why he says that. He is virtually unconscious of his generosity. He is unconscious of it because he either has an endless supply of possessions and property and so he doesn't miss what he gives away or he has an absolute confidence that he'll always have what he needs.
In other words, his heart has a different attitude to his resources for life than your heart has. Your heart gets them and feels that it has to hold on to them to ensure that you have them tomorrow or the next year. He has just a different attitude to the resources for his life than you have. That's why your heart is unclean. It has a different attitude about the resources for life that you need.
You still look to money, to a good house and to nice clothes for feeling safe and secure. Your heart really looks to those things. Your heart still looks to people's opinions of you for your sense of self-worth or your sense of self-esteem or value. You still look to favorable circumstances, nice looking friends, fast boats and fast cars for happiness. Now Jesus' heart doesn't look to any of those things. He looks to God. That's why your heart is unclean.